Time
by Pinkpillow19
Summary: It's one of those times in life, when your heart completely stops. The monitor beeps fade, and the eyes looking back at you...are foreign. And all they say is... 'give it time'. #swanqueen based on true events
1. Chapter 1

"Emma… there's been an accident…"

The only sound was Emma's phone as it clanged against the floor.

Regina's moves would be a bit jerky from now on, she shouldn't be able to walk again and the most terrifying thing of all was her brain injury. Where her memories stood, they didn't yet know. But best case scenario was she would lose a few memories and not have impulse control.

At the very worst Regina would not be able to retain new memories, she would fail to remember old memories, and become very, very frightened.

The brain is a funny thing, it can heal… given time, but you must wait.

And Emma was ready to wait as long as it took, even if nothing ever came of that waiting.

Emma entered the room with well worn tear tracks down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly to keep it together. Her chest trembling with every breath, nails digging in to keep from crying out.

Her friend lay there, a light scrape on her head – but otherwise perfect. The real problem lay beneath her few hospital blankets.

She could just be sleeping, she could just be drifted off into some happy dream, but somewhere deep down Emma new that sitting here in the ICU was almost a kiss of death. Maybe if she could hold on to Regina, the woman wouldn't slip away… like everything else she loved.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey everyone thanks for picking this up. This was inspired by a few true life events of the past year for my friends and family. Just inspired by true events not everything in this story really happened. This story is about car accidents, surgeries possibly gone wrong, brain injuries and therapy. Not everyone makes it but sometimes the lucky ones are those of us that witness the tragedies as an inspiration to start living life (aka I am moving to LA for the first time in two weeks). I hope this story gives you the feels, the hope and the inspiration to go out and live. Please enjoy the tale of the accident.

THE ACCIDENT

It had been a simple turn in Storybrooke, just taken a bit too fast when a dog walked into the road. No epic tale out of the ordinary. The road had construction on the left hand side, but this seemed to be unaccounted for as the driver swerved and hit a bit of building debris, popping the car up on its side, where it hit and was bumped higher by the concrete guard rail – flipping, increasing speed as it hurtled into a line of trees, hitting quite a few until it finally came to an abrupt stop.

Regina felt the adrenaline kick in the moment she saw the dog, the relief as she swerved, the panic as her car jumped and turned and the dread at the first impact, hitting her head and knocking her out for the rest of the event.

David was on patrol when he noticed a stray dog running around, barking like mad. He parked the patrol car as he wandered after the dog a bit up the road –that's when he saw it. The queen's car, between two trees.

It was pretty crushed in. He radioed in that there had been an accident and he needed medical attention right away. He approached and was flooded with relief when he could get the driver's door open. But he wasn't ready for what he saw next.

There was blood everywhere, he didn't know where most of it was even originating from. He took in the outfit – clean pressed suit, well at least it was. Dark brown hair, and though she had a cut running down her face the rest seemed unchanged. This was Regina, his family's Regina. The queen that they had fought with, they had trusted and finally they had become a family with. He held his hands to Regina's bloody abdomen.

"Hang in there Regina! We're going to get you through this!"

Regina began to wake, shaking heavily, her eyes fighting to focus on Charming's face. Blood running down from her nose and her mouth, her finger tips brushing it away. She gasped in pain and started to cry heavily, looking down at herself, her body starting to convulse. She looked at Charming with terror. Was she going to get to say goodbye to Henry? What about Snow and Emma?

Charming saw the fear in her eyes and tried to sound way more sure then he felt.

"Regina – they'll be here…you'll make it…"

She twitched as her world blacked out.


	3. Chapter 3

The Hospital -

When Regina arrived at the hospital they were able to wake her briefly – that's when she started vomiting blood. Whale cursing and quickly moving them to surgery – not waiting for the woman to be sedated. The woman screaming at every cut inflicted on her soft skin.

Emma was told it had taken 57 stitches, multiple pins and removing non vital organs to stabilize the woman. Charming accounted for how scared Regina looked as they cut her open on the table, not even shielding her from the worst of it.

But now the woman lay unconscious – and they waited for her to wake to see what damage had been done. And Emma had arrived and continued to hold her hand throughout the night. This woman was her friend, her best friend. And she would be damned if Regina woke up alone.

Emma woke when the hand slipped from hers. As she wiped the drool from her mouth, and the blanket covering Regina, her eyes darted up to the brunette.

Brown eyes were slowly opening, but they lost their battle. Emma wanted to beg her to wake up, to look at her. But the woman slept for 4 more days with no sign of waking. Most not believing she had woken at all.

On the fifth day Emma saw Regina twitch but the doctors said that was just her body making unconscious movements. When the nurses and Whale had left however, Emma found Regina's eyes staring back at her.

Emma broke out in a smile, her heart going double time, until Regina became more conscious.

Brown orbs danced about the room. Hands started clawing at her throat – clearly feeling the tube settled there. Emma quickly grabbing her wrists, already noticing the new scratches marring her skin.

"No, don't. You have to leave that in. Regina, stop…"

But Regina wouldn't stop. And her eyes started to cloud with tears, as she chocked and chocked while trying to yell for help.

Emma yelled for the nurses, who ran about in a panic looking for syringes to sedate the mayor.

When they came back in Emma blocked them.

"No, she just wants this tube removed…" her grip had slipped and Regina was fast as she griped the plastic quickly – ripping it from her throat. A strangled cry heard throughout the room.

Emma grimaced. And Whale growled.

"Who was supposed to be monitoring Miss Mills?!" He walked up and moved to look at her. Regina shifting her head away at the intensity in his voice.

Emma placed a hand on her cheek bringing her face back forward.

"Regina, Whale has to check on your throat. He'll calm down or I'll throw him out. That hurt, huh?" She gave a nervous laugh and Regina blinked and slightly nodded, her body relaxing a bit at Emma's softer tone.

Whale moved slower this time, though heavily annoyed and coaxed Regina into opening her mouth.

"Well her throat is a mess, looks like she'll have a painful time eating and speaking for a while."

Emma winced and looked back down at the woman who tried to sink into the bed.

"That will heal, don't look so upset Miss Swan."

Emma relaxed a bit, trying her best to ignore Whale's mood, but ready to throw him out should she see the slightest trace of upset on Regina's pale face.

Regina's hand with the IV shakily went to her throat again, she opened her mouth but couldn't yet speak. Emma watched as her brows creased in frustration as she tried to get a sound to come from her throat. She finally just sighed and made an adorable pouting face.

Emma brushed her hair back, "Gina it's ok, just rest. Just…nod or shake your head alright?"

Regina blinked, eyes unsteady and tilted her head.

Whale rolled his eyes.

"Do you remember the crash?"

Regina tried to focused hard on what they were saying. She shook her head but then Emma saw her face go slack and Regina looked for her hand blindly with her own, terror coloring her features.

Whale shrugged, "Better response then we should have hoped for. Ok well Regina you have been in an accident, your injuries are under control for the moment but you are still critical…"

Regina was looking around the room and Whale sighed as he turned his attention to Emma.

"She has a pretty extensive brain injury. We'll do a scan later today to see how the swelling is doing. But other than that, try to see what you can get out of her today. I'm off for the next two hours but call if she… does anything…we'll leave a few staff just outside the room in the waiting area, if you need help with her."

Emma nodded, "Thanks." Her attention already back on Regina whose brown eyes were already sliding closed.


	4. Chapter 4

A/n: hey guys sorry about the uploads no idea whats throwing the text... anywhere's here is the fix :). Enjoy

The next time Regina woke was after Henry and her sister had come and gone. Emma had stepped into the rest room and Regina wheezed loudly in panic. Emma racing back to her side the moment she heard the noise.

"Hey Regina, it's ok. I'm here, I'm here." Quickly fawning over her, letting her feel some sort of comfort.

Regina seemed to calm. Her mouth opened again but then she seemed to remember her voice box was injured and she closed it slowly, looking lost.

Emma could see there was something missing in her eyes. When Regina's would connect with hers something was just off, but the recognition was there, she just didn't know how much Regina remembered.

"Hey, the doctor left this list for me to go through with you…see how your memory is doing. Think we could try this?" Emma kept one hand on Regina but reached for the clipboard with the other hand.

Regina's head turned towards Emma her eyes closed and she nodded. Emma smiled.

"Great, um let's see. What is your name."

Regina opened her eyes, glared and touched her throat, Emma smacking herself on her forehead.

"ow, shit. Right you can't speak. Well is your name Regina Mills?"

Regina dropped the glare and nodded, removing her hand from Emma's.

Emma's face fell a bit as she wrote a check next to the question.

"Do you know who I am?"

Regina again nodded avoiding Emma's gaze.

Emma went to make a check when Regina's hand jerked and touched her own.

"Hhh…" her voice was strangled and she saw Regina wince and look at her with pain in her eyes.

Emma put her hand on top of Regina's.

"Maybe you could write it?" She helped Regina grip the pen but quickly saw the frustration as Regina couldn't make it do what she wanted – tears springing forth again.

"Hey it's ok… we will get it…" Emma frantically trying not to panic.

Regina closed her eyes and blinked a few times.

"Henn…" she had a pained squeak at the end.

Emma squeezed her hand, it was enough for her to go on.

"Henry?"

Regina opened her wet eyes and nodded.

"Oh, he's ok. Fine…well really worried about you – so are mom and dad and Zelena. I was the only one allowed to see you at first…well besides dad… he found you. Henry has come by, but you were asleep for days…"

Regina watched Emma's face intently as it moved and she took a moment to follow the conversation.

But Emma felt her relax a bit. She heard Regina try and clear her throat once more when she remembered the special water left on the table.

"Would you like some water?" Regina's eyes slowly cast to the side table where there was a cup, and she nodded minutely.

Emma opened a straw, placing it in the water, and moving to push the button to move Regina's bed up to a sitting position.

Regina wincing a bit, but then giving Emma a tired smile. Emma holding the water for her as she placed the straw against her lips then helping her find it with her mouth. Brown eyes closing as she drank.

Emma watched as the water disappeared. It was a bit murky and she wandered what medicine it contained. But Regina seemed to handle it well.

Emma watched as Regina's chest started to rise and fall a bit faster after drinking the water, she quickly placed her hand over her heart.

"Shhh, look at me… you're ok. Just breath with me ok… in…out…in…out. Good."

Regina seemed to calm down from whatever had just happened in her mind.

"Can we do a few more questions? Then we can rest ok?"

Regina took a moment to think. Then shrugged.

Emma laughed at the very un-Regina like gesture.

"Alright. So you remember me, and Henry…"

"cur…curssssa."

Regina grimaced. Emma glanced up. "The cruse?"

Regina nodded.

"Do you remember after we broke it?"

Regina didn't miss a beat and nodded.

"Ok, do you remember Robin Hood?"

Regina nodded.

"Do you remember… losing him?"

Regina nodded, her expression not changing.

Emma's eyes rose in amazement.

"Do you… do you remember everything?"

Regina rolled her eyes.

"Ok, ok not quite everything…"

Regina stared at her expectantly.

"You remember us being friends right?"

Emma held her breath, she didn't know what she would do if the bond she had spent years cultivating with Regina was just gone in a puff of smoke. Her heart stopped as Regina's face didn't change. Then finally Regina smirked and then rolled her eyes poking Emma's hand.

Emma burst out in a brilliant smile, "Ok, good. I was really worried."

Regina's eyes started to droop but Emma could see she was fighting hard to stay awake.

"Regina it's alright, you can go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up, ok?"

Regina gripped her hand tight and gave Emma a look. Emma read it as don't you dare leave me.

She smiled her heart warming, "I promise."

A/n: we liking it so far? :) How are the feels?


	5. Chapter 5

A/n: Hope this one uploaded right :)

The brain scan showed there was still a lot of swelling. She had a bit of a hard time staying focused. But her voice started to come in a bit stronger, even if it sounded a bit off.

Emma had called Henry and her parents and Zelena every night to give them an update on how Regina had been doing. Zelena was too much a crying mess to make it in yet, as she hadn't had a lot of good in her life and was a bit fearful at losing her newly found sister. The family was excited for Regina's move out of the ICU to a normal room where the whole family could visit.

The day Regina moved to her new room was a very emotional one, and a very telling one.

Regina tried to babble on and on in her hushed voice, telling everyone she was fine.

She lit up when she saw Henry, her arms finding their way around his body. Emma crying with the relief she saw in Regina's eyes. Regina beaming and leaning her head on her son, smiling like a fool.

The problem came with talking. Regina seemed to talk just fine, but didn't seem to know when to stop. She had told Snow what she thought of her outfit and hair quite a few times already and she kept forgetting she had, but she also told her daughter how she loved her and her stupid prince.

Snow didn't know how to stop crying tears of joy, Regina had never outright admitted that before. The family surely thought they would run out of Kleenex in this small hospital room. Charming kept laughing every time Regina would look at him and tell him how dumb he was, but with a relaxed smile.

Henry was just told how perfect he was over and over again, and the boy just ate it up.

Regina would look at Emma but then get distracted by all the people, and forget things she wanted to tell the blond.

She also constantly told her sister what a pain in the ass she was, but that she still loved her, even if their relationship was new.

Finally she told Emma she was an idiot but her idiot, whatever that meant. Emma didn't mind though.

At the end of the visit everyone but Emma left, though charming and snow both tried to tell Emma they would take over a shift. Emma told them that in a few days maybe she would take them up on that offer, but for now she could shower and sleep here a few days more. No one quite understood why Emma was there every moment, certainly not Hook, but there she stayed.

Regina had been healing very nicely, especially with Emma on guard watching her scars.

"Don't scratch." Emma was constantly on the lookout for Regina's every movement.

Regina pouted and tried to take her hand back, "It itches." She gave a huff.

Emma held her wrists in one hand, and reached for salve with the other, as Regina half heartedly tried to free her wrists.

"You know you're supposed to tell me when you need this put on…"

Regina grumbled. "I want to do it myself…"

Emma let go of her hands, Regina placing them down at her sides as Emma folded down the blankets and rolled up her hospital gown. Scooping up some of the green goo and lightly sliding it down Regina's scars. She had two thick lines spanning her abdomen vertically, one thick line down her arm and one on her thigh.

"How's the pain? Doctor Whale says we can start moving you to a wheel chair soon…"

Regina itched her nose and then shrugged.

"Doesn't hurt. Can I go home now?"

That had been Regina's question for days now. When could she just go home, she was fine. But the question had been who would take care of Regina around the clock. Henry was still just a kid, even though the 15 year old had offered to care for his mom. Emma had talked with her parents about their options and surprisingly Snow had suggested that Emma was doing so well with her, maybe she should just continue on and the family could pitch in whenever she needed them.

Regina glanced at the table and saw the water cup and knocked it over with her hand. Giving Emma her best angry face. Emma lowering Regina's top.

"Regina… you have to get into a wheelchair first…" Emma heard the exasperated sigh.

"Ok here's the deal, show us you can do that, and I'll be the one to make sure you get home. But, I have to stay to care for you, alright? No thinking you are doing this on your own…"

Regina pushed up to try and sit on her own, "You can stay."

Emma's hands reached for her but saw that Regina had it handled.

She smiled at her small triumph, beaming up at Emma.

A few hours later she was tired again but the next day Emma and her dad helped Regina into the wheel chair.

The woman sitting up on her own and shakily finding the wheels, frustrated at her lack of strength to push them.

Emma squatted in front of her.

"Gina, you'll get there, baby steps."

Regina nodded though tears threatened to fall.

Emma ran her hand through the dark locks and kissed her forehead. Charming's eyes rising at the action, never saying a word.

"You've got this Regina, I believe in you." She saw a smile flicker, briefly, just briefly.

Emma had mastered getting Regina into the chair when she started to notice Regina's legs trying to hold her own weight.

"Regina, you're not supposed to put weight on…." But Regina had somehow slipped her feet under herself heavily leaning into Emma but smiling triumphantly.

Emma letting out a light laugh. "Ok, you did it. But we have to talk to your physical therapist about you trying to walk."

Regina looked up to Emma with pleading eyes.

"Regina, I got it. I know you want to walk, we just have to be patient ok…"

But patience was not Regina's middle name. And Emma soon had to dive to catch Regina as the woman was determined to learn how to walk again on her own. Finally the therapist let Regina try, and though she shouldn't be able to, when she had a lot of support, she slowly was able to pick up her foot and move it forward… and then the other one.

Everyone treated Regina like she was a frail toddler, and everyone was careful around her as her filter still was lost on her. This started to naw on the woman.

Regina would frown when people reacted to the things she would say, fighting to figure out what was wrong.

"Was that not right?" She would glance to Emma, a deep frown set into her face.

Emma would sigh and tell her it was ok. But Regina could tell it wasn't ok, it just wasn't, she wasn't.

She had gained better control of physical impulses, and was starting to walk with a walker by the time they let her go home.

Though she had to swear to Emma she wouldn't get out of bed without her, and she tried to keep that promise she really did…


	6. Chapter 6 Moving Home

Regina was deposited on the couch. Her family decided that they needed to rearrange a room down stairs – they chose her study. Regina watched from the couch pushed against the wall as Emma and her dad moved her bed down the stairs, along with a lamp and table.

She sat next to Snow who babbled on about making the room feel a bit more cozy – she would have to go buy some new drapes and more bright pillows, stuffed animals….

Regina smirked, as much as Snow annoyed her at times, she really did love having her around.

She watched as David and Emma tripped and fell into the room with the bed, Regina breaking out in a fit of laughter, wincing slightly at the pain it caused. Emma smiling up from the floor – it was the first real laugh Regina had emitted since the accident.

The bed was set – along with a horse stuffed animal that Snow found on her quick run for blankets and things. She had gotten Regina a thick fluffy deep purple blanket and a few red pillows. Emma wasn't certain Regina would appreciate the color scheme as a whole but Regina seemed to love the blanket and even cuddled with her new soft toy.

The Charmings told Emma they could move into the upstairs to help out, but their daughter thought that was a bit much for now.

She sipped her hot chocolate as she watched Regina cuddle her horse from the doorway. Regina finally caught her looking and glanced down ashamed.

Emma moved over and sat on the bed behind her back, lightly rubbing circles.

"What's her name Gina?" Regina turned to look at Emma and lay on her back, then lifted her horse in front of her.

"Well… she… I can't think of a name…" she studied the horse as Emma went to pet it's mane.

"Well…let's see mom gave it to you…"

Regina glanced up with a bored look, "I'm not naming her Snow…"

Emma giggled. "Well there's always Mary Margaret…"

Regina scoffed, "I really outdid myself with the curse… what a dumb name…"

Emma ran her hand through Regina's hair and she heard the woman sigh with contentment.

"Well Henry is good with names… he should be home from babysitting Neil soon…"

Regina smiled.

"Henry is a good name…" She pulled the horse into her neck.

"Gina, you can't name everything Henry…."

Regina frowned.

Emma lost her smile and Regina looked away.

"I like the name Henry… it was my daddy's name…I… I miss him Emma…"

Emma's eyes started to cloud over and she could barely see the brunette just in front of her.

"Gina, I was kidding. You can name it Henry…"

Regina looked up pleased. "Good. Cause her name is Henry…"

Emma lay down next to her, her chin sitting on Regina's shoulder.

"Henry's a girl huh?"

Regina could feel her heart hammering away as she replied…

"Well I already have a boy…."

Emma picked up the horse.

"Hey!" Regina reached for it but Emma had it gallop away but then come right back.

Regina reached out and pet it thoughtfully, releasing a quiet yawn.

Emma placed it right back in her arms as she leaned up, "You should really go to bed…"

Regina shook her head… "I want…want to say g'nite to… Henry…"

Emma found her unsteady hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I'll have him say good night, just rest."

And Regina vaguely remembered Henry's voice and a hug goodnight.


	7. Chapter 7 The Part w the Insomnia

A/n: this one was inspired by someone I watched go through this last year. Insomnia is a scary thing.

The part with the insomnia.

Regina had been home a week when the insomnia hit. She was going mad she hadn't slept for two days. And it seemed that everything out of her mouth was just wrong.

She had tried to tell them that she could walk fine, she had gone for a walk last night. Both her son and his mother giving her a worried glance. Her son looking to the blond for answers.

She also tried to tell them she had taken Henry out after the walk, they went for a ride. She was serious they had – she remembered. It was barely dark out and they had run all over the kingdom last night.

She could see the concern on Emma's face as she spoke. Emma told her she believed her, but she didn't, not really. Regina decided she wouldn't tell them things anymore, not if this was how they made her feel. She tried to hide under the covers but they kept finding her, she just wanted to be left alone for a while.

Finally Whale arrived and Regina threw a fit. They thought she was crazy – she wasn't crazy.

"Emma… please I'll be good… I won't talk anymore…"

She pushed herself flush against the headboard as her eyes darted to Henry.

"Hen… please… I'll… I'll stop…" her voice lowered to a pained whisper as her shoulders drew in and Henry couldn't take the way she looked at him. He left the room crying. Luckily his grandparents had arrived and were waiting for him in the kitchen.

His mother screamed after him, for him to save her. For him to help her. He was the author he could stop all of this.

Emma took a step back knocking the lamp from the table and shattering it. Cursing at the mess she made and the fact that Regina probably really liked that lamp or something stupid.

Regina shook as Whale tried to hold her down.

"I'll make a deal, please just no more medicine!" She was growing delirious when Snow stepped in, actually pushing Whale aside.

"Regina. Stop this."

Regina shuttered, "But Snow… he… he'll hurt me…"

Snow leveled her with a look. "He is not your mother Regina. I am not Cora. No one here is going to hurt you. You trust Emma, why are you acting out…"

Regina hung her head ashamed… "she… just doesn't want to deal with me anymore…"

Snow lifted her chin, "Honey, no. Emma has said no such thing. You just need to be able to rest, aren't you tired?"

Regina shivered and looked at Snows eyes conceding.

"Yes… I just… what will happen when I sleep? Will I get better? I haven't yet…"

Snow held her hand, "Regina, you will feel a lot better after a night of sleep. Me and Emma will be here to watch over you. Charming will spend the night with Henry…"

Regina opened her mouth and Snow paused.

"What?"

Regina lifted little Henry… "Will you… will you hold her for me?"

Snow smiled tenderly, "Yes Regina, I will hold her for you. But you have to hold my hand while you get this shot, because we both know I am scared of watching shots so…"

Regina rolled her eyes and grabbed both of Snows hands.

"Ok... but Emma sleeps with me in case I wake up…"

Emma's eyes bugged out. She hadn't told her mother she had been sleeping with the queen at night but her mother seemed un-phased.

"She will be here, right here." She patted the bed.

Emma moved closer biting her thumb nail, and she watched as Whale moved in slow with the needle and Regina held her eyes – as she drifted off.


	8. Chapter 8 More Pain

Regina was a bit groggy for a few days but then she was back to walking from her room to the kitchen – mostly "forgetting" to use her walker. She was slow but she got where she wanted to go. Emma or Snow still had to help her with the rest room though.

She was walking her mug back to the kitchen for more tea when she overheard their voices.

"Mom…I'm just scared… what if she never gets better…"

Snow was about to chime in with a hope speech when they all jumped as the mug smashed on the floor. Regina standing there, her face turning red and her mouth opening and closing.

She started to hyperventilate. She stumbled backwards into the wall around the corner, placing her hands on it to stay upright.

Emma coming quickly for her as she tried to push her away. She fought, harder then Emma thought she could, actually shoving Emma away.

"Get… away!" Regina covered her face with her hands.

Emma reached for her, but Regina screamed in frustration.

Emma stumbled back and tripped falling to the floor and scooting back. Regina wanted to leave the situation but she couldn't. She couldn't run from the room. She couldn't throw them from the house. She couldn't hurt Emma like she wanted to very badly right now. Her legs started to tremble.

Emma moving quickly to get to her before she could fall. Regina reluctantly sagging into her, just sobbing as she wanted to be anywhere but in Emma's arms.

Emma scooped her up gently and carried her to the bed.

Regina gripping at her stomach, Emma's hands covering her own.

"Regina you have to calm down…."

Regina groaned, her sobs hiccupping to try and slow them down.

"It… it hurts…" Her eyes squeezed shut in pain.

Emma became frantic, yelling over her shoulder.

"Mom – call the hospital!"

Regina shook her head, "No…"

Emma lost her cool.

"Regina! Stop moving!" she grabbed her hard.

Regina froze… Emma had never been that forceful with her, not since she had punched her in the face their first year of knowing each other. But she had changed… she thought Emma had too.

As Emma saw Regina want to retreat, and she felt an apology on her lips Regina cried out again.

Snow running into the room, "They're on their way…"

A few incisions and a couple new stitches later had Regina knocked out again, she was able to stay in her home as long as the new incisions on her abdomen were well attended. Emma thanked them profusely. She knew this was her fault and she couldn't stop shaking in guilt. She had caused Regina this pain, she had said something stupid…

Emma didn't sleep, she held her knees to her chest as she waited for Regina to wake, so she could say she was sorry, so she could make up for it.

Snow and Charming told her she needed to be strong for Henry but she couldn't, not tonight.

Regina whimpered in her sleep, and Emma heard her cry out her name.

At one point early in the morning Regina actually jolted awake from her nightmare, begging Emma to come back…

Emma scrambled to the bed pulling Regina into her arms – apologizing for anything and everything. The dream was over…

Regina dug her nails into Emma's skin.

"You were… you were so mad at me… I… I flipped my car… there was so much blood Emma…I'm…"

Emma just held her and tried to calm her down,

"Hey I'm a jerk, I'm so sorry. And you're ok now. No more accidents ok? I promise, I won't say stupid shit and I'll listen when you talk, really listen. I'll keep you safe, I'll do better…"

Regina trembled.

"I'm…sorry Emma…"

Emma shushed her. "Sh, no it's my fault. You just need time Gina, that's all… I can wait."

Regina sniffled. "What if we run out of time…"

Emma sighed, "Gina we won't."

But Emma didn't know the thoughts running rampant through Regina's head. She didn't want to be a burden anymore.


	9. Chapter 9 Therapy Red

Regina had healed, and they had started to make progress with her physical therapy once more. Till they hit a snag with the brunette feeling like everyone thought she was an idiot, and an invalid.

"I'm NOT stupid!" She screamed at her family.

They all looked at her hurt and unable to help. Archie trying to calm her.

"Regina they never said you were, Emma was trying to apologize for her outburst you overheard last month, she was going to explain."

"No! You… you all think I'm broken… weak. I'm NOT! I'm… I'm not…"

Regina stalked from the room the best she could. Emma chasing after her, as best as she could.

Emma waiting for Regina's breathing to even out.

Regina wouldn't even look at her, that was the type of rage directed at the blond currently and Emma was shredding herself apart on the inside.

"Take me home."

Regina stalked past Emma and went for the car.

Emma drove her home in silence. They hadn't waited for the rest of the family. And as tears raced down Regina's face she wouldn't speak.

They arrived, and Regina told Emma to go back and get everyone and she closed the front door in Emma's face.

Emma sighed dropping her forehead to the door. Then after a few deep breaths turned towards the car and was halfway back to Archie's place when she had a bad feeling and raced towards Mifflin Street.

Regina went from angry to the dark reaches of her mind within moments. She would always be broken to them, always stupid. She started to pull down all of her pill bottles that she had acquired since her accident, and there were quite a few.

She poured a few different ones into one bottle, making it easier to swallow. She didn't even hear the door click back open as she glanced at herself in the mirror. Her eyes peered into the bottle of pills and she closed her eyes as she slowly brought the poisonous things to her lips. When the bathroom door flew open knocking the pills from her hands.

Emma and Regina stood there watching the pills flood the floor. Regina caught in the headlights and Emma pulling Regina from the room.

"No… no no no no…."

Regina could see Emma in terror.

"I…"

Regina crossed her arms and looked guilty.

"Regina… you… you have gotten so much better, why…"

Regina shrugged, "I'll always be broken to you… always…"

"No, you don't get it. Even when you were broken you were fucking perfect to me and it's so fucking selfish to think that I could live even a day without you in my life, my parents, your sister or gods forbid you leave Henry all alone…."

Regina wrapped her arm around herself as Emma surged forward and claimed her lips.

Wet tears hit her face. When she opened her eyes she could tell all Emma wanted to do was run, she couldn't be here, not after what she just did.

But she couldn't leave Regina alone, not after what she just walked in on… So she stayed, she stayed and started to have a panic attack because she couldn't leave.

Her body started to retaliate. Her vision started to blur, her heart raced and rammed against her rib cage, she thought she was going to die.

Regina shakily stood, ran to the bathroom and frantically looked for the anxiety pills that were somewhere on the counter. And she found them just in time as she heard Emma get very ill just outside the door.

She stooped in front of her, wiping streaked hair away. Leaning Emma up against the wall.

"Emma?! Emma, just take this ok? Please…"

Emma shook her head but swallowed whatever Regina had forced into her mouth, though it tasted awful.

Regina pulled her forward and rocked her in her arms.

"I'm sorry Emma… I'm so sorry…never again…"

Emma nodded weakly into Regina, calming when she could hear Regina's heart beat right in her ear.


	10. Chapter 10 - Trying to heal

Snow walked in a while later to Regina sitting on the floor holding her daughter.

Regina's eyes snapped up, and she pleaded with Snow to help her.

"I… I did something bad. Emma…it hurt Emma…"

Snow paused, Emma seemed to be breathing, she cocked an eyebrow at her stepmother when Regina sighed in frustration and bounced Emma a bit with nerves.

"No… not like that…I tried to take pills and she… she freaked out. I just… I'm… sorry…" Her voice trailed off at the end.

Snow taking a moment to be relieved. She walked past the two women into the bathroom and wet a couple of towels – using one to wipe up Emma and her mess while giving the second to Regina to hold onto Emma's head.

Snow rubbed Regina's arm when she saw her still shaking.

"Why don't I put Emma on the couch… then you and me, we'll make some tea and chat…"

Regina nodded and reluctantly let Snow remove Emma from her arms.

A moment later Snow returned and helped her stand, sitting her down in the bathroom to wipe her up.

Regina glancing at the floor with tired eyes.

Snow following her gaze, "I'll sweep them up later… don't worry about it…"

Regina nodded and closed her eyes as Snow ran the cold cloth over her face.

Snow sitting on her heals waiting for Regina to look at her.

"She loves you, you know that?"

Regina's lip quivered….and she almost mentioned that Emma kissed her, but she held that information back.

Snow watched as Regina thought long and hard about something, then slowly closed her mouth and looked at Snow.

"Regina, we love you."

Regina smiled sadly and clasped her hands in her lap, slowly raising her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Snow…"

Snow pushed up to her knees and pulled Regina into a tight hug, "It's alright. You talk to me next time, ok? Whenever you hear Cora in your head or… my father…"

Snow blinked rapidly to keep from crying over that.

"We'll make their voices go away Regina. We will…"

Regina nodded. It took her a while but she finally sniffled and pulled back. She pushed her dark disheveled hair behind her ears and placed a forced smile on her face.

"Tea then?"

Snow caught her arm as she stood.

"Promise me Regina."

Regina held her gaze, "I will Snow."

The two brunettes sat in the kitchen drinking their tea and Snow slowly was able to bring Regina back to herself.

"I hate that bird painting you put in the office…."

Snow laughed into her tea, "I thought you burned it…"

Regina grinned happily, "I did…"

Snow sighed dramatically, "Too bad I put a replica in your room as a home warming gift…"

Regina's mouth hung open in shock and Snow could tell she was about to whine. Regina noticed however the way Snow's smile widened.

"You didn't… you're lying…"

Snow rolled her eyes, "Well I should have then, because that look on your face…"

Regina watched as Snow set her tea down, "Was better than any curse." Winking at her stepmother.

A/N: She's starting to do better :D


	11. Chapter 11 - Caught

Emma woke later not speaking much which had Snow quieter than normal and put Regina on edge. Henry came home and carefully told both of his mothers good night before going to his room. He was glad he had plans with Violet tomorrow. The adults in his life were really stressing him out and if he were honest with himself, he really needed a break.

The next day Emma was hovering. Regina was about to tell her how sorry she was and how bad she felt about inducing Emma's panic attack, when the blond invaded her privacy, yet again.

"Can I help you Swan?" Regina throwing her hands down, enraged.

Emma's blood boiled at the use of the old name.

"Regina, don't call me that." pointing her finger accusingly at Regina.

Regina rolled her eyes, "It is your last name. And if you don't want me calling you that… pick another."

Regina walked toward her study and went to shut the door, when Emma held it open.

Regina turning on her and glaring menacingly.

"I thought you would take the hint, but leave me alone, Em-ma." She moved to her bed to sit.

Emma leaning on the doorway, "Oh can I trust you now?"

Snow and David could hear them from the other room and were trying to decide when to intervene.

Regina huffed and grabbed the stuffed Horse and threw it at Emma, hard.

"Get rid of that, it's stupid. I'm a grown woman and really Emma? Every time I close a door I am not going to try and off myself!" She threw her hands down in exasperation, but her eyes caught movement.

Henry had just walked in, his eyes quickly going red rimmed.

"Mom… what…"

Regina's hand clutched at her heart.

"Henry… I didn't… I didn't mean…"

His eyes lifted to connect with his mothers and her hand covered her mouth.

"Please… don't."

Henry turned on his blond mother and released his pent up rage from the whole situation.

"Really Emma? I couldn't care for her? You were supposed to take care of her! You promised!" She tried to place her hand on his shoulder but he shrugged her off.

"You can't take care of her without her trying to kill herself?! What is wrong with you? Don't you want me to have a mom?!"

Emma stepped back clutching the stuffed animal that had hit her in the chest. And Regina saw it in her eyes before Emma even knew what she was about to do… She bolted.

Henry watched her go with fleeting anger in his eyes. He didn't mean to say all of that, he was angry and confused and knew the moment Emma had fled, that he had gone too far.

Regina's hands gripped the covers tight.

"H-henry…"

He looked up and saw his mother's face go white, she was shaking.

He walked forward and wrapped his arms around her.

"Mom I'm not going anywhere…"

Regina nodded and took a deep breath.

Charming came in eventually to tell them dinner was ready and they sat around in the living room drinking soup and eating grilled cheese. Snow helping Regina drink her soup.

Henry tried to ask his mother for more information about the outburst earlier, but his grandparents kept running interference, and his mother would look at him sadly then shift her gaze to the wall.

Henry finally couldn't take it anymore.

"Guys, I'm not a kid anymore. She's my mom and I deserve to know what happened."

Snow jumped on him before Regina could even speak,

"Henry, Regina has been through enough. It is your mother's story and she will talk when she is ready, you can't force her to be open with you…"

She stopped when Regina's hand gripped her arm.

"Thank you Snow….but…"

She glanced at Henry, "Dear I… wasn't myself earlier…"

Henry wiped quickly at tears, "You haven't been since the accident…"

Regina sat forward on her elbows and ran her hand through her hair.

"I know Henry… and I'm sorry I've made you unhappy again…"

Henry shook his head, "Mom, no. I'm stressed, but I am so happy, so so happy you are alive. I… know I wasn't supposed to... but I read the report online, I saw the pictures mom… you shouldn't have survived…"

Her son looked haunted as his bottom lip failed to sit still.

"I.. I can't lose you. I almost did…whatever Emma did…"

Regina shook her head.

"Henry, please come here… I need you right here…" She patted the cushion next to her with a nervous smile.

Henry swiped at his face as he moved to sit beside his mother wrapping an arm around her.

She finally relaxed a bit.

"Henry I really didn't want to marry the king… and I didn't see a way out until Rumple…"

Henry moved his arm back and grabbed her hand.

Regina closed her eyes.

"The first time... I was banging on my balcony fence in frustration, Tinkerbelle broke my fall….

And the second time…I was tricking Sydney into… into killing the king, though for a moment... I almost just let the vipers bite me…"

She cleared her throat and looked at her son.

"Henry please, just look at me."

He looked up and saw how scared his mother was, how her hands shook within his own.

"Today wasn't Emma's fault. You were at therapy, I wasn't having a good day. Emma drove me home and I shouldn't have let myself be alone… I tried to take the pills in the bathroom, Emma knocked them out of my hands, I am so sorry dear…"

Henry threw his arms around her.

"Henry I… I didn't mean it. I didn't want to leave you I just was soo angry…"

Snow watched as Henry held his mom tight.

"You promise you will go to Archie, really talk to Archie…"

Regina blew out a relieved sigh and nodded. "I promise Henry, I'll do better. I'm not going anywhere…"

A/N: Them feels :)) Well Henry still loves her and is super protective of his mother. When will Emma come back? What happened to Henry the horse?


	12. Chapter 12 It was Time

a/n: Hey everyone, this maybe the end of the story, so treat it as the loving end unless I surprise you with another update ;) I hope you have enjoyed this story of hope and shout out to two of the strongest people in my life for inspiring this story with their lives this year. Nana you were the best, Anna you are one of the strongest people I know and continue on in life with such grace determination and passion for civil law, the world is ready for change and that is you :) #presidentmartin2020 ;)

Everyone turned in early. Regina was surprised that she wasn't still under suicide watch, though Snow knew her well enough to know that this attempt on her own life, would be her last. Henry needed her, he loved her, and she had family. She had the Charmings and her annoying sister, her niece and Emma…wherever Emma was.

She got ready for bed, Snow coming in to say goodnight, insisting on tucking her in. They both didn't mention Emma at first but as Snow watched Regina reach for the toy that wasn't there, slowly pulling her hand back she knew.

"She'll come back Regina… just give her time…"

Regina nodded as tears slid down her cheeks, thankfully Snow didn't mention that she was crying.

"I'll be right on the couch in the other room if you need me alright?"

The door creaked halfway closed and Snow put on a nightlight in the hall.

Regina eventually nodded off to sleep but jolted awake when she heard her floor creak. She was frozen in fear and somehow couldn't move. Her heart beat fast as her skin went ice cold and then numb.

She heard someone try and cover their breathing. Emma? She came back?

Regina raised her hand to her mouth and she started to bite down on her finger, to keep from sobbing.

Emma could see the wet cheeks reflecting in the moonlight.

She walked quietly over and sat down, Regina felt the bed shift as if Emma were about to reach out and touch her, then the pressure on the mattress went away.

She turned her head slightly, fearful that Emma would go.

"You're back…" her voice was rough and thick with sleep.

Emma pulling her legs up and under her on the bed.

"Yeah… I am."

Regina rolled back over and continued to weep, she wasn't sure what emotion she was feeling right now. When something was pressed into her arms.

Regina opened her eyes and found Henry the horse. She sat up clutching it to her chest.

"You… you didn't throw her away?"

Emma shook her head, "Of course not, you needed her…"

Regina looked down at the horse and pulled it up into her arms cuddling it and tears cascading down her face, head bobbing as she nodded.

Emma was about to move to go when Regina pulled her into a hug.

"Please don't go Emma… I need you too…"

Regina pulled back a bit.

"I'm so sorry I'm a mess…"

Emma rolled her eyes, "And I'm not?"

Regina's hand without Henry drifted to Emma's cheek.

"Why did you kiss me?"

Her eyes darting back and forth between Emma's.

Emma smiling and looking down at Henry still clutched in Regina's other hand.

"I thought it would be obvious." She looked up into Regina's confused face and took a leap.

"I love you. I have for a long while, it just took me a while to see it…"

Regina gulped and smiled nervously. She traced all of Emma's face with her eyes and finally she was brave enough… to move her lips to meet Emma's once more. Emma's eyes widening in surprise, then peppering kisses about Regina's face.

"I…love you Regina."

Regina smiled as Emma kissed her forehead.

She pulled Henry up to try and hide her smile, but Emma could see it… and even if she couldn't… she just knew it was time.

a/n: this is all I have written for now but I may have a few ideas for a couple more chapters stick with me :)


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